[ Eliot wonders if life will ever be simple for any of them. Clearly it's not going to happen any time soon, but it'd be nice to have days again where the biggest concern is what shoes he'll wear or what the theme for the night's party should be. In a lot of ways, he's sort of glad for the growth or whatever life forced him into, but he misses the way it used to be, too.
But Eliot's never been the introspective sort, so all that wistful thinking leaves him as soon as it comes, and instead he finds himself throwing on a robe and walking the short distance in the dark to Alice's room. There's no light on under her door, but he knows she's probably just as awake as he is. Maybe it's rude to impose himself on her like this. Maybe she, unlike him, enjoys the quiet solitude and needs it to sleep.
Well. It's too late now.
He doesn't even knock before he slips inside. The door is closed gently behind him and he uses the light filtering in from outside to find his way to the bed, and he crawls in. ]
[ He's right. She's awake, lying in the darkness with her eyes half open, unfocused gaze turned to the ceiling. It was like this in the immediate aftermath of the bonfire singalong, after watching Quentin turn into brilliant points of light as his simple spell ricocheted off the madness if the mirror realm and tore him apart.
She still dreams about it sometimes. She's not in the mood to dream about it tonight. Acceptance is a continuous process. She accepts he's dead, but there are still pangs of sorrow to deal with.
The door opens and closes quietly. He's silhouetted by the light coming into the hall from the masive windows. Alice usually prefers to be alone, but the moment he climbs into bed with her, she turns and wraps her arms around him, pulling him close. Eliot helps numb and soothe the pain just by being here, because he's the only person who really understands.
She wants to say something, anything, but all that comes out is a tired, shaky sigh. Maybe that's enough. God knows he's as tired as she is. For all that their lives are hellish, at least this, moments like this, help. ]
[ In turn, Eliot shifts enough that he can wrap around Alice, so they can both feel secure and not alone for the time being, and he presses his nose into her hair. They don't really need to say anything to each other, do they?
Sometimes, Eliot thinks about how he and Alice being here like this was probably some recurring wet dream of Quentin's. It makes him laugh, and he thinks about it now, so he laughs now, too.
Sort of.
He tries to stifle it, but it makes his chest rumble and he exhales a huff of hair through his nose. But there's no denying he's found something funny, at least for a moment. ]
Mm. I was just thinking about how hard Quentin would get off if he saw us like this.
[ Saying it loud make him chuckle in earnest, and he tangles his fingers up in her hair a bit. Eliot completely understands why Quentin was so in love with Alice. ]
[ That's so out of nowhere and yet completely accurate that Alice also laughs, a sudden, disarmingly amused huff of one. Just like that, her cloudy mood dissipates, even just for a few moments. It's almost like magic, how Eliot can make that happen, except it's innate in him, something that makes her see what Quentin saw in him. ]
God, you're right.
[ It was always so easy to get him into bed. Hell, he initiated it just as often as she did, and clearly the same was true with Eliot. ]
Did he tell you he dreamt about me and Julia making out, when we were together im our first year at Brakebills? [ Another laugh, this time quieter, as she tucks her head under Eliot's chin. ] Completely believable. He was still a teenage boy so many years after physically being one.
[ Eliot laughs, in earnest this time, because of course Quentin's sex dreams would extend to Julia. He's pretty sure Quentin's probably had one about Penny, too, even though Quentin would likely never admit it. ]
At least he was good at it. Imagine if he wanted it all the time and he was awful.
[ There's a slight lurch in her stomach. Should she even mention this? It's worth it to laugh, and sometimes that has to be at her own expense. Besides, a little self-deprecation never hurt anyone. Okay, yes it did, but she's still sad about the mess they're all in and the fact that Quentin is gone. ]
He wasn't— I mean, yeah, he was. I just had to tell him what I wanted. I...
[ She sighs, pretty damn dramatically. It's a good thing they were laughing just now. Her frayed nerves are a little soothed. ]
I used to have a problem with speaking up about it. With Q, I learned how to. And yes, after that, it was good. Always.
[ Cool now she's gone and made herself sad again. Her smile fades slowly. She's glad that, being as close as they are, wrapped up in each other, Eliot can't see it. ]
[ Eliot makes a vague hum. He's not sure he ever really had that problem - after all, Quentin didn't really hesitate to go down on him that first time, though Eliot's not going to bring it up.
Maybe it's all forgiven, but that doesn't mean they need to talk about it. ]
Maybe it was just easier for me. Since he was the bottom and all. Bossy, but I called the shots.
[ He thinks once Alice decided she could call the shots, too, it was fine. He gets the idea that Quentin probably would have liked Alice telling him exactly what to do. ]
[ Good call, not talking about it. Yes, she's forgiven him, but it's still painful. Betrayal hurts, no matter what side of the betrayal you're on. ]
I guess he was into that? [ A quiet laugh. ] Honestly, it was good once Istarted telling him what Ilike. It's like when you stop lying. Plus, you know, the sex got better.
[ It strikes her that she is acting a little bit like her parents. Ugh. But at least this is a good trait? Not being a prude, talking casually about something natural and not to be ashamed of. Talking about it with someone she trusts. ]
He was good. In general.
[ And she misses him so much so suddenly that she has to stop talking before she starts crying. ]
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@dramaquinn;
But Eliot's never been the introspective sort, so all that wistful thinking leaves him as soon as it comes, and instead he finds himself throwing on a robe and walking the short distance in the dark to Alice's room. There's no light on under her door, but he knows she's probably just as awake as he is. Maybe it's rude to impose himself on her like this. Maybe she, unlike him, enjoys the quiet solitude and needs it to sleep.
Well. It's too late now.
He doesn't even knock before he slips inside. The door is closed gently behind him and he uses the light filtering in from outside to find his way to the bed, and he crawls in. ]
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She still dreams about it sometimes. She's not in the mood to dream about it tonight. Acceptance is a continuous process. She accepts he's dead, but there are still pangs of sorrow to deal with.
The door opens and closes quietly. He's silhouetted by the light coming into the hall from the masive windows. Alice usually prefers to be alone, but the moment he climbs into bed with her, she turns and wraps her arms around him, pulling him close. Eliot helps numb and soothe the pain just by being here, because he's the only person who really understands.
She wants to say something, anything, but all that comes out is a tired, shaky sigh. Maybe that's enough. God knows he's as tired as she is. For all that their lives are hellish, at least this, moments like this, help. ]
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Sometimes, Eliot thinks about how he and Alice being here like this was probably some recurring wet dream of Quentin's. It makes him laugh, and he thinks about it now, so he laughs now, too.
Sort of.
He tries to stifle it, but it makes his chest rumble and he exhales a huff of hair through his nose. But there's no denying he's found something funny, at least for a moment. ]
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And rhen he laughs, brief as the sound is, and it's so out of place emotionally that it makes Alice crack a smile. ]
What? I could use a laugh too.
[ Misery is familiar to her, but she's pretty fucking tired of it. ]
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[ Saying it loud make him chuckle in earnest, and he tangles his fingers up in her hair a bit. Eliot completely understands why Quentin was so in love with Alice. ]
He was such a horndog.
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God, you're right.
[ It was always so easy to get him into bed. Hell, he initiated it just as often as she did, and clearly the same was true with Eliot. ]
Did he tell you he dreamt about me and Julia making out, when we were together im our first year at Brakebills? [ Another laugh, this time quieter, as she tucks her head under Eliot's chin. ] Completely believable. He was still a teenage boy so many years after physically being one.
If his ghost were around, he'd try and get off.
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At least he was good at it. Imagine if he wanted it all the time and he was awful.
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He wasn't— I mean, yeah, he was. I just had to tell him what I wanted. I...
[ She sighs, pretty damn dramatically. It's a good thing they were laughing just now. Her frayed nerves are a little soothed. ]
I used to have a problem with speaking up about it. With Q, I learned how to. And yes, after that, it was good. Always.
[ Cool now she's gone and made herself sad again. Her smile fades slowly. She's glad that, being as close as they are, wrapped up in each other, Eliot can't see it. ]
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Maybe it's all forgiven, but that doesn't mean they need to talk about it. ]
Maybe it was just easier for me. Since he was the bottom and all. Bossy, but I called the shots.
[ He thinks once Alice decided she could call the shots, too, it was fine. He gets the idea that Quentin probably would have liked Alice telling him exactly what to do. ]
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[ Good call, not talking about it. Yes, she's forgiven him, but it's still painful. Betrayal hurts, no matter what side of the betrayal you're on. ]
I guess he was into that? [ A quiet laugh. ] Honestly, it was good once Istarted telling him what Ilike. It's like when you stop lying. Plus, you know, the sex got better.
[ It strikes her that she is acting a little bit like her parents. Ugh. But at least this is a good trait? Not being a prude, talking casually about something natural and not to be ashamed of. Talking about it with someone she trusts. ]
He was good. In general.
[ And she misses him so much so suddenly that she has to stop talking before she starts crying. ]